SPENDING quality time with your other half doesn’t have to involve sitting in a restaurant, or in front of the goggle box. So I discovered on a recent trip to Airth Castle Spa.
At this Falkirk-based hotel and spa, you can go for one of their off-the-peg packages, or choose something bespoke (to be taken solo, with partner, friends or a whole entourage).
We both opted for the latter. I decided to kick things off with an Elemis Tri-enzyme Resurfacing Facial, while he went for the Elemis Urban Cleanse Facial.
My option was an anti-ageing extravaganza that included a tingly mask to slough off dead skin cells, while his treatment was designed to energise, defend against pollutants and do lots of other superhero-esque tasks.
Both were fab, and we emerged into their relaxation room, complete with virtual fish tank – footage of fish on the plasma screen telly, looking as pink as baby birds.
“My therapist said I was to start exfoliating once a week,” said my partner. “Do you have an exfoliant I can borrow?”
Hmm, where can I hide my beauty products?
Time for a two-course lunch, in an upstairs room reserved for spa guests, so you don’t have to appear in the main restaurant wrapped in your fluffy gown, resembling a blow-dried polar bear.
For mains, we went for the semi-virtuous options of tuna steak with salsa, and a Caesar salad.
Afterwards, digest while baking yourself in the downstairs sauna and steam room, or attempt a couple of laps of the kidney-shaped pool.
Who knows what possessed us to visit their small but well-equipped gym, where you’ll find cross-trainers, exercise bikes, a power plate (vibrating at high speed is not recommended after stuffing one’s face) and all the usual gadgetry.
Once the puce had faded from our faces, we headed upstairs, and back into our respective treatment rooms, both of us for an Elemis Deep Tissue Full Body Massage.
Every careworn muscle in our bodies was pummelled into submission, with the help of oodles of essential oils.
Then, at last, cake o’clock. As part of all of their packages, this hotel offers coffee or tea with a ridiculously huge selection of cupcakes. We managed one each, then took the rest home in a doggy bag.
The remainder of our day was spent lying on the sofa in front of the telly, so zonked-out that we were unable to move. There’s only so much quality time one can take.
Airth Castle Hotel, Airth, by Falkirk (01324 831411, www.airthcastlehotel.com)