PUT THE words “Loch” and “Ness” together and what comes next? Obvious, is it not? Blindingly obvious. Monster. What else would you associate with Scotland’s deep, dark, mysterious loch?
Well, if you are Destination Loch Ness, that is not how you see it. Supported by Scottish Government funds, it has found another animal that it believes will have tourists flocking to the loch.
What might this creature be? The magnificent soaring golden eagle? Majestic stags out of Monarch of the Glen oil paintings? Perhaps marvellous leaping wild salmon? None of those. The beast which these destination gurus have won £25,000 of taxpayers’ money to bring visitors flocking to Loch Ness to see is, em, the red squirrel.
According to the destination body, Nessie has been “very important” but has not encouraged long stays and high spending by visitors. Red squirrels will “engage visitors”, leading to more visits, longer stays and greater spending.
Now we have nothing against red squirrels. They are nice, respectable animals and have had a hard time recently at the hands of those pushy, sharp-elbowed greys. But to suggest they can replace our world-famous beastie is simply monstrous nonsense. Nessie is, and always will be, associated across the globe with the loch she has taken her name from.
Now, we have not seen much of Nessie recently, but we feel sure this outrageous news will provoke her into an appearance or two to reclaim her crown from these puny pretenders. No-one has ever established whether Nessie is a vegetarian, or carnivore. But if the squirrels have any sense, they will keep away from the loch’s shores for a while.